Attributes

This morning we were talking about listing real job skills. Or attributes. And what they have to do with finding a job getting a job actually being hired.

Many years ago a friend
sent me to a woman who called
her job Head Hunter imagine that
hunting heads anyway her name
was Joyce Payton (in case you
are worried her name
wasn’t really Joyce Payton)
and even though I didn’t want
what everyone else called
A Real Job
I wanted a Fake Job
whatever that might be
Joyce Payton explained that she
had a Very Important Exercise
that I Had To Do
to qualify for a Real Job.
The exercise consisted
of writing my ATTRIBUTES
on a yellow pad, clearly,
so Joyce could read them
back out loud to me.
This part of the story
is true. I wrote a
very long list of what I
considered to be Strong Points.
I remember one:
there are always
pistachio nuts
in my home.
Another was
I know how
to make Lebanese BabaGanoush.
When she looked, Joyce P. didn’t
want to read my list
out loud but I told her
that was our tacit
agreement and so she
did although she made
it very clear that my skills
had little to do with
Getting a Job. I made a
XEROX of the list and brought it home
to Harry who did an Oral Reading
and he guaranteed me that he
would hire me immediately
if he ever got a job.

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