Do not tell the reader anything about you
except facts and then, Title of Your Submission
and do not use a weird title either such as Moby Dick. Stick to
what people want to hear. Word Count Exactly.
Your address and whether or not
this is a multiple submission and other relevant information.
Where else have you published? Do you have
an MFA? That’s all they care about.
Do not be personal or funny. Many editors
do not have a sense of humor (and why should they.
Editing isn’t funny except for typos) and they don’t want to know
about you so don’t insist. Editors especially dislike
stories about relatives. They do not want to know
your Aunt Blanche wore only blue clothing powder blue only drove
a blue car too because that was the color of her eyes.
Stick to the facts. Adjectives and adverbs. No. Clever salutations.
No. Keep to the Facts. And when you’re at the bottom of the page,
just say goodbye.